"Little Johnny: "Big hands! Please check link and try again. The second worm, she put into the whiskey. They have the same dog! Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the 3rd grade." The Bored Panda iOS app is live! "Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius.What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?, A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! "Teacher: "Good, now name another. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from. She replies, "No". "Little Johnny: "Nine. "Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ". "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. But, Grandpa, you must flee. ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Yelled Billy. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. Thats it! "His mother replies "To make myself beautiful Johnny. she asked. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Today she asked us again! We can play that game!". Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? The World's Best Dirty Jokes - Mr. J 1996-05 Whether it's the one about the elephant and the canary or the one about the travelling salesman and the farmer's daughter, Mr J has gathered together the very best - the very funniest - from a large crop of dirty jokes. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . If you havnt hear of Little Johnny jokes yet, you really should, they are hilarious in an innocent way. . Billy said. Little Johnny Jokes - it's basic math via: YouTube Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, what's two plus two? During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. You can change your preferences. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. However, we have an origin theory of our own. And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! "No!". Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. He asks her if she had a good time. "Mom: "Why not? yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! . Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? "No, he's not!" I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. ""of course, miss" Johnny replies "My father actually said it when we were talking yesterday". A big list of little johnny jokes! When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. "Teacher: "What?! That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? One hundred dollars. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. Quick Lesson. There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. "Johnny's mother says "Ok Johnny, here is 20 dollars. "Teacher: "How come? I have two half-siblings.. One of our many staff writers who preferred to keep his privacy. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Do you really expect me to believe that? His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Click here to view. Hes a burglar., Ok NOW the detective one makes sense. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. Billy continued. "Little Johnny: "It's snowing! if she a bad cook. 3. My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Johnny quickly said, No way. ", Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. That's one of the short adult jokes. However, we have an origin theory of our own. "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! I already have one rabbit at home! Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. ", Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? ""Yes, miss. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Johnny replied, Thats easy. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Because the ax was in georges hands.. Take a look, 62 of The darkest Jokes Ever Told Online | Dark Humor Jokes. ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. Full name: John 2. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. "Johnny smiles and says "Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.". "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? Your account is not active. Johnny asked. ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?, Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. lol seems like he should. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. Mental health: mentally retarded. ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. !. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" "Now, class. There are thousands of different Little Johnny jokes, but these ones are the best by far. "Teacher: "So your dad ran away? He asked why Johnny was digging such a deep hole. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? She decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised. "Did you get that for your birthday?" He asked. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. The sphinx with the sour cream. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes. She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? says Johnny to his friends He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back." Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Just who is Little Johnny? Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. Little johnny came running into the house and asked, mommy, can little girls have babies? no, said his mom, of course not.. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. 'What if you need just one kid?' And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. yelled Little Johnny. Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. Johnny groaned before standing. One day, they decide they want to get married. Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, whats two plus two? The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer. Ooo santaaaaaa. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. ""It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. "Little Johnny: "We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. What would she think. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. Veteran snake catcher calls out competitors. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! What is it? she asked. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. "Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook.". ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? he should pray the food dosnt kill him. Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. I've heard my father say the same thing more than once. Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. Yes Johnny, he is The priest replied. Wanna hear it? Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. 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Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. "Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the doctor said he will have perfect vision.". Dont we all, Little Johnny. Ooops! He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. Saying sorry or aplogising is not always an easy thing. But it was pretty funny. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. "Little Johnny: "The sausage! if not married to one another, that could be coincidenceand would explain the magicians half-siblings A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. Huge fan of "Friends". 65. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. he replied. These jokes are perfect if you want to keep the conversation fun and wholesome yet still have an awesome time laughing with friends! I know it's really my dad. She asked, No. 4. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, "Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go? ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Santa responds back, "Okay. He is not!" 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 4. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. ", Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table.Father, "Can you please pray for dinner! ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Why would you do such a thing?! Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Please enter your email to complete registration. ", Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Possibly. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? "Teacher: "Yes, Bobby. "Mum: "No it doesn't my son. We're playing cards! Warning! "From Heaven," replied his mom. After all those years, Ive gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy., Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. The best little johnny jokes. Claus?? "After a little while, Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him "Why did you stand up Johnny? ", Mother: "How was math today? 58 reviews of The Hotel Fresno "We've arrived to this hotel around 2am, really tired, as one of the last option locally to find a room to sleep. Give it to me!" she yelled. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?, Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line? When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history.
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